Of Sin and Retribution
by Iapetus
Summary: In order to purse Inu Yasha, Kikyo commits the sin not even heaven can forgive.


Of Sin and Retribution

An Inu Yasha fan fiction by Iapetus

Disclaimer: I don't own Kikyo or anyone else from the anime/manga Inu Yasha. If I did, I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college right now.

A.N. This is an older story of mine that I reformatted when some of the changes that made messed up how this story was being presented. And, I have consolidated the three chapters (which were not really chapters at all) into a single chapter.

* * *

_If I stay near that girl, the rest of my soul will be sucked away…_ Kikyo stumbled from the spot where her reincarnation was.

_But, it isn't just a reincarnation,_ Kikyo mused. _If her soul had truly been ripped from her body, she wouldn't be able to respond. _The pain from her shoulder was intensifying. At that moment, she felt the very presence following her that gave her the wound in the first place.

_You'll never lest me rest, will you Inu Yasha?_ She questioned silently.

Kikyo was breathing hard. _If I stay near that girl… the remainder of my soul will also be drawn in… _It was getting painful to walk. _I have to get away from her…_

Suddenly, her body began to seize up. The presence of the girl seemed to grow every second. If she did not get away… surely death would come to her again.

The lack of mobility took its toll, and Kikyo lost her footing. Soon, she was sliding down the hill, and went over the cliff.

The unexpected jump in distance had delivered her from the girl's deathly grip. She would have breathed a sigh of relief, if she had not been falling off a cliff. A hand reached out with lightning speed and caught her as she fell. The grip was strong, and she could feel the sharp claws against her skin. They did not pierce it, but the feeling was still there. It brought back bad memories. _Inu Yasha…_

"Kikyo…" He struggled to keep her held up at the difficult angle. Grunting, he tried to hoist her up again with no avail. "Kikyo… You can't go on like this…"

_Of course not, _sneered the miko. _If you "save" me, you will condemn me to death._

She looked up, seeing the pained expression on his face. What was it? She couldn't figure it out.

"Go back inside Kagome." _Her name is Kagome? _Then, anger. She had clearly misinterpreted his face. "Are you asking for _this body _to die?" He seemed shocked at her reaction. Then again, the hanyou was always a little dense.

"Returning into that girl means… that I will loose myself. Inu Yasha… That is what you desire, isn't it." He didn't seem to have an answer to that.

"I will NOT die…" _That is, not by you again…_ using his arm as a brace, she took her other arm to grasp his. A huge blast of energy surrounded them. He winced in pain as she continued, her face lit up by her own energy. "I told you, didn't I? I will die when you die!"

The cliff began to disintegrate. "Id-idiot!" he shouted. "Stop…!" Then to his horror, she let go.

"Kikyo-o-o!"

-

She was falling; falling faster and faster every second. From this height, the water would be like rock when she hit it. With her soul almost completely ripped from her body and her energy depleted, there would be no way she could survive. As the mist clouded her vision from above, she could only think of hatred.

Ten feet from the water. _Fifty years have passed._ Seven feet… _Kaede is an old woman…_Three feet… _What was that girl to you, Inu Yasha? _One foot… _Why did he care for her so? _Two inches… _Why must I die again?_

The moment of death did not come. Kikyo felt suspended in mid-air. Before she could twist her head around to check, she wasn't anywhere, it seemed, at all. There was nothing but blackness. Despite that, she could see her body perfectly. It was as if her body emitted its own light, and was then absorbed and destroyed by the air around her.

Carefully testing each step, she started to head in the direction in front of her. Something was there, she just didn't know what.

Very suddenly, a red point appeared to her far left. Before she could even blink, the point had drawn a line in front of her. It stretched as far as the eye could see. It was thin, and looked like a rope pulled tight.

Hovering just before the line, Kikyo looked warily beyond. This line was important somehow…

"Do you know what you're doing?" a voice asked. She spun to her right and saw a demon-like girl around her age standing on the line. Not that appearance meant anything. She herself was over sixty, and looked to be sixteen. The outfit was very similar to a drawing Kikyo had once seen as a little girl. Her outfit seemed to be made of silk, and reminded her of the Indian princesses that had once visited the Land of the Sun so long ago…She had hair that was mostly tied up in a braid that fell to the small of her back. Two tendrils framed her face, which had a small smile. "You were never supposed to see this line, Kikyo."

"I was never supposed to be brought back to life," she challenged. _Or was I?_

The girl seemed to read her mind. "No, you are right. Your fate has puzzled the gods. You were not supposed to be brought back. Then again, you shouldn't have died as you did."

"No one should have to be betrayed by the one they love – and I was forced to see _him_ again." Kikyo had had tears building up beyond her eyes, but something the girl said stopped her. "What do you mean I wasn't supposed to die like that?"

"It is not my place to say what should have been, or what is, or what could be," the girl explained. "However, it _was_ in your fate to carry the Shikon no Tama. Had life continued, as it should, you would not have died as a young woman as you are now.

"A detail was missed when the heavens were predicting your future. Unfortunately, even the gods make mistakes sometimes."

The miko's anger flared. "So, is it your fault that I have died again? Is it your fault that I died before like I did?! What atrocious sin did I commit to deserve this?

The girl never lost her cool. "The gods do not intervene on people's lives in such a way. All people sin, even a priestess such as yourself-"

"I know that. Love brought me down to that of a mortal woman-"

"No, Kikyo, it was not your love that was a sin. You did nothing terrible to spark the wrath of the gods. And, you are partially wrong. You are not dead now."

"But there was no way I could survive from that fall. My powers were being driven out by a lack of my soul." The enigma continued to grow, and Kikyo began to wonder about her keeper's origin.

"Who are you?"

The smile was back. I am T'ienlon no Ryuu, and I have come to offer you a choice."

T'ienlon, the dragon that guards the gates of Heaven?" Kikyo asked suspiciously. "This doesn't look like paradise."

"It isn't. In fact, it is considered by some to be a form of Hell. The wrong one will condemn you, while the right one will save you. Of course, it is of your own opinion which is which."

"The Line of Retribution…" Kikyo muttered.

"Yes, you guessed it." T'ienlon walked closer, always on the line. "A true miko knows about this place – the secret is hidden in their soul." Her smile turned sad. "You now know the end, but not the choice itself."

"If I cross this line, I will be condemned to Hell. If I turn around and never cross, I will head through purgatory and then to Heaven." She paused. "This is only going to be offered to me once…

"You are definitely a powerful miko, not many could know the story of this line."

"How can I even be offered this?" Kikyo demanded. "I died hating the man I love, and my soul cannot move beyond that point."

"Your soul can move, with this choice. You know in your heart that Inu Yasha was sincere with his claim. Yet, you deny because of what you're eyes have seen."

"You know nothing," Kikyo seethed. "It could not have been any one else! And how would you know his heart?" she challenged.

"I am not a god who claims to be omnipotent," T'ienlon said sadly. "I hate guarding the line, because I can do nothing. As a result, the only people I see end up hating me."

"What is my choice?" the miko demanded darkly.

"Stay on this side, and as you said, head through purgatory. You will end up in Heaven, and your soul will return into the girl Kagome. However, your being, or essence, will remain in paradise." She smiled. "You will not cease to exist, like you formerly thought."

"And if I cross the line?" she challenged.

"With only the fragment of your soul, residing in a body of your own ashes and grave soil, you have been reduced to the body of a demoness. You would have to draw your power from another source – and that is what will condemn you. If you seek to find out the situation that caused your death, you might find out more than you want to know."

"So, ignorance is bliss?"

"It is surely a kinder fate, to you who has suffered so.

"On the side you remain, forgiveness is always a possibility." She touched the end of her staff to the ground across the line. "If you choose to live, for the sins you'll commit, your being will reside in Hell when you die.

"Revenge is not sweet. It only widens and creates more pain."

For several minutes, the two said nothing. T'ienlon's face seemed to get sadder and sadder. Finally, Kikyo spoke up.

"Had I been the same woman I was when the Shikon no Tama was first entrusted to me, I would have thought myself above this choice, and turn to walk away. But, I have changed. I never expected to fall in love, especially with a hanyou, and then be betrayed by him." _Maybe I just wanted someone who was like me… and denied his demonic background. _The miko pressed back tears._ How could I forget it is in a demon's second nature to lie? _It was painful for her to remember…

_I'm going to find out why Inu Yasha betrayed me, _she thought. _I wouldn't be able to truly rest until then. I am not content in the ignorance like others are._

Wiping away her tears, Kikyo stood resolute, and stared straight ahead. Without glancing to the light behind her, she stepped over the line. In a single burst of energy, the miko was overcome with the sensation of fire burning ever cell in her body. She wanted to cry, for with the sensation of burning flesh she could feel herself loosing her humanity.

In an instant, it was over. Kikyo turned back to her guide, who looked as if she were about to burst into tears. She shifted her weight, and pointed the head of the staff at Kikyo's heart.

"Your soul must return to the mortal world," she said in a dead voice. "You are no longer human, but a demon with a human soul. Your body cannot sustain itself on your own soul – you must figure out other means to fuel your body."

A tear rolled down the cheek of the poker face. The head of the staff glowed green and black, while bits of light shimmered like stars in the sky. Before she knew it, Kikyo found herself looking up at the real night sky, with her guide's last thoughts ringing in her head.

_Kikyo, you were always condemned to this choice. No one gets shown the Line except those that will cross it. _Kikyo knew that if she could still see T'ienlon's face, that small smile would be there again. _Still, I always hope that it'll be proven wrong one day._

_When you die again, you will not have to be alone. I will be with you. _With that last thought, the dragon god's presence vanished. Kikyo was alone once again.

_She would stay with me in Hell? _Kikyo wondered. _Why?_ The answer came to her as she began to walk away from the river shore. T'ienlon had found an equal in the (new) demon priestess, and wanted to dull her own punishment.

_A solitary guardian… her Hell must be worse than mine._

Time had been flowing normally now, and the inevitable had finally happened to her – she was in the river. Instead of hitting the water at a killing speed, she had not even noticed at first that she was in the water. However, after several failed attempts, Kikyo was able to stand up in the shallower part of the river and grab onto a large rock. She smiled at her decision, and at how flawed she had become. "I'm alive, Inu Yasha!" she whispered fiercely.

-

Kikyo wondered how she was supposed to even pursue Inu Yasha. She could barely move her body as it was, and she was still soaked from falling in the river. Leaning against a tree, she drifted in and out of consciousness. She thought of her resurrection, and the world around her. How the world had changed.

_Inu Yasha hasn't aged a day. The world looks the same as when I left it. Wars remain common, and everyone is affected by it._

As if reading her mind, a soft glow made itself known to the miko. It was about ten meters away, and Kikyo stretched her senses to discover what it was.

It was the soul of a young girl. Sensing her restlessness, it was easy to see that the girl had died in a raid on her village. As soon as a Tatari Moike found her, she could have her soul soothed by his flute, and the girl would pass into the afterlife. Kikyo could feel no malice in the spirit - only the confusion a soul often has when they didn't know they had died. _This girl will not remain here long, then._ Suddenly, and idea came to Kikyo. She put her fingers to her lips and blew. The soul stopped moving, and slowly turned to where the miko was standing.

Kikyo altered her breath and fingers, and the note changed. Soon, she was playing a simple melody. The soul drifted nearer, slightly calmer, yet intrigued by the music. As it drew close, the ghostly face of the girl smiled at the priestess. Soon, she was humming along the tune.

Kikyo reached out with her other hand to touch the cloudy spirit. Extending all of her powers, she took the energy of the girl's soul and taken it into her own. The face revealed a look of horror moments before it seemed to mutate. Without the energy to sustain a human train of thought, the antagonism that always seemed to be in the air polluted the remains of the soul. It became a demon – one that appeared to look like a dragon. The demon's youki cried out for its former energy. It could not sustain its form for long without some stabilizing energy. If it couldn't sustain itself, it would vanish into thin air. Instead of itsown energy, Kikyo gave a shred of her own. The soul had rejuvenated her power, so it was no loss.

The demon's form stabilized, and began to circle Kikyo. At that time, she realized that she had become the demon's mistress.

She could feel her body seizing up again. One soul was not enough to satisfy her body's needs for power. As soon as she thought of her need, the demon went off into the night. Lacking the energy to stand, she sat down with her back to a tree.

About fifteen minutes later, the demon returned, carrying another young girl's soul in its hands. Kikyo repeated the same process, and the soul transformed into a second demon. It looked exactly like the first. But, the girl's soul was no more. Horror began to set in.

_What have I done? _Kikyo thought. _I have taken away the souls' chance to remain human. _Demons could not reincarnate, despite having a soul. She had taken the chance of the soul away to eventually reach nirvana. Totally destroying a soul, it was a sin in which Heaven would punish her for. It was the ultimate form of murder…

A chill went down her spine. No, even if she were set on killing Inu Yasha, she would not slaughter the innocent. Inu Yasha was about as far from innocent as a person could be.

The two demons, drawing on their own energy, seemed to split in half. Each have grew into a whole, and floated by her side.

_I can't move…_ Before she could protest, the demons flew off, and came back with more souls. As the four young girls floated near her, she shuddered. _I'm never going to destroy a soul like that again, even to destroy a soul like that again, even if I'm already condemned._ But then, how was she going to move? Without energy, she would waste away – and never accomplish what she was resurrected for. Carefully, she drew the first soul into her own. Instead of merging its energy with hers, she simply contained it. Satisfied that the soul had not transformed into a demon, she repeated the process with the other three. The souls acted as a power source, where she could slowly draw power. As she needed more power, her demons would get her more souls. In an era of civil war, death was common.

She neared a village, and told the demons to hide themselves. It would not have mattered if she had said anything, though, because the group of demons seemed able to read their mistress' mind. Seeing a group of foresters, she approached them carefully.

"Young lady, what are you doing out in that demon forest?" a man asked.

"I was looking for someone, but he was not there." She smiled at the men. _This is as good as any place to start…_

"Tell me sir, are you in need of a priestess?"

Fin.

* * *

This story was originally written in May of 2003, but was reformatted in January of 2005. Comments and criticisms are still appreciated.

-Iapetus


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